r/pics Sep 29 '22 Wholesome 2 All-Seeing Upvote 3 Bravo Grande! 2 Big Brain Time 2 Silver 6 Gold 1 Helpful 7

Today I discovered that one of my neighbors in Florida is intelligent

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u/skrutape Sep 29 '22 Silver

probably came outside later and felt like a champion

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u/Businesspleasure Sep 29 '22

“YES!”

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u/GanakaMoggallana Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

"HA, SEE, I TOLD YOU BABE!! YOU SAID I WAS BEING SILLY."

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u/Wolkenbaer Sep 29 '22 Facepalm

And I told you to cut that tree down already 5 years ago because it was rotten

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u/Kup123 Sep 29 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Ally

Well it's down now and we didn't have to pay I'm 2/2 today.

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u/TheTrub Sep 29 '22 Wholesome

And now I just have to drive to the hardware store and rent a chainsaw and.... fuck!

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u/turkburkulurksus Sep 29 '22

It's a sports utility vehicle! Just drive over the tree!

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u/LauraPringlesWilder Sep 29 '22

Canyonero music starts playing

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u/watchursix Sep 30 '22

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

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u/Winter_Swim9629 Sep 30 '22

Top of the line in utility sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts

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u/mycroft16 Sep 29 '22

This is Florida. At least 1 of his neighbors has a chainsaw.

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u/iamanis Sep 29 '22

"Can ya gimmie a 'nice job, atta boy' for once, honey!? For once!"

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u/Slitterbox Sep 29 '22 Helpful (Pro)

If I threw out everything that was rotten we'd be divorced

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u/ChronikTheory Sep 29 '22

audience laughter "Oh, Al!"

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u/JohnnyPeanutII Sep 29 '22

godDAMN! That's some venom!

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u/ApolloBon Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

MTG’s husband has entered the chat

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

“Florida Man attacks wife with dildo, news at 11”

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

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u/ActivisionBlizzard Sep 29 '22

Don’t ruin the moment

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u/GoldenFleeced Sep 29 '22

"Hey Sharon! Hey Sharon! Come look at this!"

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u/DoctoreVodka Sep 29 '22

What is it Randy did you have any...OH! RANDY!!!!

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u/redditaccount224488 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22 Silver

I wonder what percentage of men reading this comment imagine a man saying this to his woman, and what percentage of women imagine the opposite. Since "babe" can go either way.

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u/neuropotpie Sep 29 '22

When I read "babe" I always think of the footballer from Daria. Sup babe? Oh Kevi!

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u/tristfall Sep 29 '22

I believe it's spelled: kEvi!!

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u/RNGcooks Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Most men probably imagine a man saying it most women probably imagine a woman saying it

Edit: I don’t care about your personal anecdote unless you’re comin up with something creative, tbh I said “most”

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u/bluedaddy1 Sep 29 '22

I’m a man. I imagined my wife saying it because she always parks abnormally and it was bound to pay off eventually.

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u/Demonyx12 Sep 29 '22

she always parks abnormally

go on...?

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u/bluedaddy1 Sep 29 '22

Yesterday parked dead center in the middle of the garage… even though we usually both park inside.

Why? “I saw our cat and got distracted”

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u/VersChorsVers Sep 29 '22

How's the cat doing?

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u/28Hz Sep 29 '22

It's laying across the driveway

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u/RedPlaidPierogies Sep 29 '22 Silver

Dang, for a second I thought I was in my ADHD group and I'm like... "Same, Hun. Relatable." OH WAIT WRONG SUBREDDIT.

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u/Kayniaan Sep 29 '22

And I'm here imagining a farmer saying it to a pig.

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u/TalkBMWtome Sep 29 '22

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

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u/GiantPurplePeopleEat Sep 29 '22

And I'm imagining Paul Bunyan with his 40ft axe, roaming naked across the country with his faithful blue ox, Babe.

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u/EvoEpitaph Sep 29 '22

And I'm imagining 1920's manager of the Yankees, Miller Huggins, shouting out to one of his team's legendary players.

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u/VovaGoFuckYourself Sep 29 '22

Maybe but I'm a woman and imagined a man saying it lol

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_MONTRALS Sep 29 '22

It does seem like a very "dad" thing to think of, in terms of traditional family roles in American culture.

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u/nervelli Sep 29 '22

I thought of a man saying it because I immediately pictured my dad going outside, plotting wind currents and doing math for where the tree would fall and then moving the car to fit in that projection.

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u/Prestigious-Cow4835 Sep 29 '22

I just hear it in Jeff's voice from American Dad.

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u/interpretivepants Sep 29 '22

THE LONG WEEKS OF PARKING TRAINING! THE EXACT MEASUREMENTS, PAINSTAKINGLY REPEATED AGAIN AND AGAIN! THE COMPUTER RENDERINGS AND SIMULATIONS! AND YOU LAUGHED AT ME! LAUGHED! WELL WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!?!!??

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u/Bevroren Sep 29 '22

They'll be riding that high for years.

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u/Effective_Lab_2097 Sep 29 '22

Technically they will be driving that high.

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u/OptionalFTW Sep 29 '22

"See, honey? Calculated."

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u/wildcard904 Sep 29 '22

What a save!

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u/smardalek Sep 29 '22

Whew.
Whew.
Whew.

Chat disabled for 4 seconds.

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u/bikibird Sep 29 '22

"But, you could have parked in the garage?"

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u/No-comment-at-all Sep 29 '22

You do this to prevent the wind from blowing in your garage door.

Basically putting a big block in front of it so the wind is baffled somewhat.

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u/Preachwhendrunk Sep 29 '22

It's a good idea I never thought of. If the wind collapses the garage door, there's a good chance of the wind tearing the garage apart.

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u/BlackBetty504 Sep 29 '22

Garages aren't for cars in Florida. They're a room sized junk drawer.

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u/Key-Helicopter-12 Sep 29 '22

We call our garage "The Florida Basement".

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u/junkit33 Sep 29 '22

That's garages pretty much everywhere unless you have some massive 3-car garage McMansion. Everybody needs at least a full car bay for yard stuff and other odds and ends.

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u/falardeau187 Sep 29 '22

Maybe their other car is parked in there.

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u/deadlybydsgn Sep 29 '22

Sideways, of course.

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u/FloridaManIssues Sep 29 '22

I parked like this for the storm to protect my motorcycles in the garage...

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u/marauders64 Sep 29 '22

people use their garage for the car? LOL

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u/Triatt Sep 29 '22

I know right? It's not a carage.

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u/I_Am_Mandark_Hahaha Sep 29 '22

Garage is for.. gar-bage

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u/fordprecept Sep 29 '22

Moe: "The garage? Hey fellas, check it out, the garage. Well la-di-da Mr. Frenchman."

Homer: "Well what do you call it?"

Moe: "A carhole!"

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u/Vampire-Chihuahua Sep 29 '22

In hurricanes a big concern is your roof being popped off. The wind gusts through the garage door and boom, roof gone. He/She/They might have just been trying to protect the garage door with a slight wind barrier. I've seen a lot of people do this during Hurricanes if they don't have bracing on their doors. As a matter o' fact, here is a post of someone's popped roof https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/xquhcn/hurricane_ivan_blew_the_roof_off_my_house_and/ Though, it could definitely have been done because of the tree as well, or other cars already in garage like someone else said.

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u/sabrenation81 Sep 29 '22

Not OP's neighbor but can confirm the feeling.

Several years back we had a wicked ice storm in Buffalo. My car was parked on the street in front of my house. I started seeing small branches breaking off the tree from the weight of the ice and decided I better move my car. It wasn't a whole tree like this but the next morning there was a MASSIVE tree branch right where my car was. It would've been more than enough to total my little ass Dodge Neon. Man, that felt good.

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u/natufian Sep 29 '22

It would've been more than enough to total my little ass Dodge Neon.

Kind of depends on how much gas you used moving it. Burning $5 worth of gas is enough to total many Dodge Neons 😄

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u/intashu Sep 29 '22

As a prior dodge neon owner I feel the need to jump in here and say...

You think they're worth $5?

I damn near needed to pay someone to take mine by the end. I couldn't believe it still drove as just about everything had failed on it. Blown shocks, bad alignment, cracked main crank seal and leaking dead gasket, was on its third fuel pump. 3 of the 4 speakers didn't work at all and the 4th working one was blown. Both fans were on switches because fuses and relays didn't fix the issue with them not running...

It started life as a cheap car, and only got worse from there.

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u/Paranatural Sep 29 '22

When I was much younger and the Dodge Neons had just come out, a friend got one and took me on a ride. The only clear memory I have is being shocked that someone decided it was road-worthy.

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u/Born2bwire Sep 29 '22

Went on a cruise and I made a point to disconnect the car battery when we parked at the terminal. After coming back, we drove by a few people who had dead batteries. It was glorious. Made sure my wife knew how smart I was with each one.

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u/FappDerpington Sep 29 '22

How long was the cruise??? A car ought to be able to sit a couple of weeks without starting...sounds like some of those folks had batteries on their last legs.

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u/Born2bwire Sep 29 '22

That was what they thought too. It was only around 7-10 days.

Doesn't matter how short it was, all that matters is that I was correct in front of my wife and in-laws.

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u/wee-dancer Sep 29 '22

I was correct in front of my wife and in-laws.

That's what's really important.

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u/rabid_jackal Sep 29 '22

Truly, this man husbands.

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u/borntoflail Sep 29 '22

Sounds like coincidence for OP. You can leave a car for months and it will still start. Unless their battery was already fucked when they got there.

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u/phoenixy1 Sep 29 '22

I used to drive a 2003 Mazda and the battery would die if I didn't drive it for two weeks, even on a brand new battery. I bought a new car last year, left it in the driveway for 4 months while on a trip, and was totally stunned when it started up just fine. There really is a difference between newer and older cars on this front.

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u/myboywalter Sep 29 '22

That's not a difference between new and old cars. Your Mazda had a slow battery drain which is not normal. Although finding the source of a drain that slow can be extremely difficult.

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u/froggertwenty Sep 29 '22

The real pro gamer move would be to charge each one a few bucks for you to jump them

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u/everfordphoto Sep 29 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Bravo! Starry Eureka!

Turned car sideways to prevent garage door from being sucked open,ends up saving car from falling tree.

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u/JumpingJacks1234 Sep 29 '22

Best and most concise caption.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

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u/Zargawi Sep 29 '22 Wholesome

Super lucky. Smart would be parking the car in the garage, but most people use garage for hoarding.

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u/Candlematt Sep 29 '22 Wholesome Giggle

how dare you call me out like that.

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u/Background-Page-6645 Sep 29 '22

I laughed because of how real you were right there

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u/tpolaris Sep 29 '22

I popped a mild smile because of how true that is. And brave!

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u/ThaVolt Sep 29 '22

Seriously, people wasting their garage space to park their car is sooooo weird lmao.

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u/insane_contin Sep 29 '22

It's like not using the workbench as another shelf.

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u/ThaVolt Sep 29 '22

Ok that hurt, we can stop now.

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u/TurboTrev Sep 30 '22

Yea, I need a bigger kitchen table, running out of space for all my unopened mail.

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u/Hopefully_moreUnique Sep 29 '22

Have double-garage. Fits exactly one car

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u/TamponSmoothie Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

or maybe the garage already had another car in there since many people own multiple cars

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u/crashovercool Sep 29 '22

Don't talk about my workshop that way.

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u/SorenKickmynards Sep 29 '22

Damn straight! Some of us have work to do and cars that aren't for show. My pickup has had a tree fall on it and it still goes to beat shit. I can't say my table saw would be as resilient...

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u/Imhmc Sep 29 '22

I have parked like that during a hurricane as well. The two nice cars in the garage and our beater truck across the front of the garage.

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u/hoesindifareacodes Sep 29 '22

Honest question? What does parking a car in front of the garage do? Does it act as a wind break? Would the side security latches on the inside of the garage be enough to prevent the winds from opening the door?

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u/Imhmc Sep 30 '22

According to my husband he was sacrificing the beater truck to protect the garage. So debris would hit the truck instead of the garage. It was also almost 20 years ago- we were younger and not necessarily full of good ideas. It was 100% sailor logic and I as a fellow sailor went along with it cause you know, why not?

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u/dsanen Sep 29 '22

Garages are for tools, what do you mean “parking”?

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u/Background-Panic-806 Sep 29 '22

I thought he'd pre emptively cut the tree down... 🤦‍♀️ it's been a long day.

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u/OrganizerMowgli Sep 29 '22

Prevent garage door from being sucked open? How does that work by parking a car next to it? Did they tie it down or something?

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u/14P14C3 Sep 29 '22

It provides a physical barrier to any gusts of wind that might damage the door. Garage doors are flimsy so any strong wind can damage it, and then once damaged, further wind gusts can get up underneath it and cause further damage to the garage/house/roof.

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u/elzibet Sep 29 '22

Wow I’m learning so much today! Had no idea about this

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u/Final_Taco Sep 29 '22

I have a hurricane garage door that is decidedly not flimsy. I'm sure if you laid the garage door flat and braced it on each side, you could turn it into a bridge and drive a car over it. From front to back, it's like 8" thick due to 2" thick paneling and 6" of reinforcing sheet steel boxes.

Not mine, but what I'm talking about: https://imgur.com/LxCHZSi.jpg

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22 Wholesome Take My Energy

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u/arqantos Sep 29 '22

That got a good chuckle out of me lol

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u/salsanacho Sep 29 '22

I thought the little fucker was the one you didn't want hit, that guy is only two hits and the hardest to find.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

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u/El_Chairman_Dennis Sep 29 '22

I had a battleship game growing up where the carrier was just the perfect size to actually fit diagonally on the board, and according to my sister that's cheating

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u/LeanDixLigma Sep 29 '22

in my boredom during meetings a few years ago, I devised a variant of battleship that was a honeycomb instead of a square grid, and was joint turn based. You both were able to fire a number of rounds per turn depending on how many ships were alive, after firing you could move your ships 1 space per round or turn ships 600, and then both sides wait for rounds to land to assess damages. You could either have a direct hit, or splash damage (cell next to ship was hit) and ships had health pools that chipped away with damage or slowed them down from moving/turning.

Had the board and rules devised, just never did anything with it.

https://boardgamegeek.com/image/448471/battleship-tactical-combat-game

lol and now i learn there was a variant that did some of that.

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u/Kids_On_Coffee Sep 29 '22

That sounds fun to me, I'd totally play that.

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u/roflcptr8 Sep 29 '22

hexagons are the bestagons

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u/Danzarr Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

My brother sawed off one of the pegs of the carrier so he could put one of the segments out of bounds and just stacked all the ships on top of each other... I did not enjoy playing with him.

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u/IlliniChiefKeef Sep 29 '22

I did this once, and my friend hit my stack on like the 3rd turn and subsequently ended the game in like 6 turns.

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u/synthesize_me Sep 29 '22

You probably thought you were indestructible. We're you taking pointers from the Russian military?

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u/Public-Fail4505 Sep 29 '22

He's been in the game for a while after a few game overs you know what is coming

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u/masonryf Sep 29 '22

if it fell on the house and broke through the roof, there is a small chance it wouldn't damage the car. Its kind of like when they divert all power to the deflectors in Star Trek.

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u/michaelyup Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 30 '22

I’m guessing they did that to block the garage door. In a tropical storm you realize how flimsy a standard garage do is.

Edit: door

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u/bingybunny Sep 29 '22

yeah the garage doors you're supposed to have in hurricane alley bolt into the floor and have a grid of metal braces on the inside

once the garage door is gone the wind can get in under the roof real good and lift it off

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u/kadno Sep 29 '22

That makes so much sense. I was thinking "Uhh isn't a garage door WAY cheaper than a car?!"

But if you need a whole new house... that's a different story. Thanks!

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

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u/TidusJames Sep 29 '22

easily be worth less than that garage door.

BUT the car is still a windbreak on the door at least.. an extra buffer that removes much of the pressure

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u/Maraxusx Sep 29 '22

Also, the garage is a wind break for the car! Win win

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u/drgreenair Sep 29 '22

Man 2 birds one stone. Man’s a god damn genius.

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u/michaelyup Sep 29 '22

Been there and you make unique decisions in the hours before a storm. Like, the car is insured, we have flood insurance, but save the family photos and grandma’s china. Where’s the cat? Priorities change fast.

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u/murdering_time Sep 29 '22 Wholesome

Where's the cat?

He's probably on top of the AC unit outside waiting for someone to come get him.

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u/deliciousmonster Sep 29 '22

I understood this reference

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u/qiyua Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

This is way too fast of a reference and I understood it. I think I’m spending too much time on the internet.

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u/firstdaybeingme Sep 29 '22

Get two birds stoned at once.

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u/SirJodo Sep 29 '22

It's not rocket appliances

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u/WritingTheDream Sep 29 '22

Come on, does a bear shit on the pope?

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u/luntcips Sep 29 '22

Come on mate, obviously the pope shits in the woods and bears wear funny hats.

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u/Welcometochicago8 Sep 29 '22

Do ya clean up strike 3, Ricky?

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u/hurtfulproduct Sep 29 '22

This exactly, as a Floridian this is what you could do to help protect if you don’t mind your car getting destroyed to protect your garage since if the garage door goes you could very well lose the house since that is a huge opening for wind to get in and under the roof. The best option is to get a hurricane rated garage door, but that is of course expensive.

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u/Fuel_junkie Sep 29 '22

Like the guy with the P1 McLaren found out.

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u/mike_james_alt Sep 29 '22

Parking in the direction of the wind could potentially save an expensive repair and keep the vehicle drivable if/when needed.

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u/bigflamingtaco Sep 29 '22

True. Vehicles can easily handle 140mph winds in the direction they travel on a road. From the side, not so much.

Being parallel to a large structure takes some of the side loading off the vehicle in addition to protecting weak entry points.

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u/Keyann Sep 29 '22

I’m guessing they did that to block the garage door.

Likely, yes.

Because how would he have predicted what way the tree would fall?

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u/myluki2000 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

He couldn't but parking it parallel to the tree should lower the probability of it being hit compared to parking it perpendicular to it because the amount of angles where the tree would hit the call if it fell down in that direction is smaller.

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u/airmandan Sep 29 '22

I can tell who does and doesn’t live in Florida, or who has and hasn’t gone through a hurricane here. This wasn’t done for wind or to avoid the tree. It was to get his car as far away as possible from the rising water.

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u/Au91700 Sep 29 '22

You park like this to create a wind brace for your garage door. Garage door caves in - inside gets wet - inside falls apart - more insides get wet. Aside from that, another scenario happening at the same time. Garage door caves in - wind gets caught inside garage - wind blows roof completely off of garage/house. 1% says they parked there because of the tree. Lucky bastard!!!

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u/PurpleK00lA1d Sep 29 '22

Yeah when I lived in Florida this is how people neighbours said we're supposed to park during a hurricane. We're Canadian so definitely didn't know any better.

Only had a couple mild hurricanes in our area the time I lived there though (Boca Raton).

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u/Au91700 Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Yep! All these people saying the person used their psychic powers or the laws of probably to protect their car from the tree are wrong. We park like this to protect our homes, not just the garage door. The garage door is the only (flimsy piece of metal in 140mph winds) thing protecting your home. If that comes off and the wind is able to get trapped in there, it has nowhere to go but up through the drywall and it’s taking the roof with it. That’s why all these videos you’re seeing of the roofs flying off peoples mobile homes are coming from mobile homes with outcropping roofs where wind can get trapped underneath.

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u/EverettSeahawk Sep 29 '22

I had a similar situation in a snowstorm once. My car was parked next to a tree that was leaning heavily toward my driveway from the weight of the snow. I spent an hour digging a path and the snow was coming down so fast I still had to get my neighbor to push the car as I drove it into my yard and out of the way. We get it moved and go back inside and not 5 minutes later I hear several loud cracks and a crash outside. I go out and there's that entire tree laying right where my car was before I moved it.

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u/Max_W_ Sep 29 '22

Did you get a pic afterwards? Would have made for a good photo.

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u/EverettSeahawk Sep 29 '22

Probably. This was about 12 years ago though so that pic is stashed on my hard drive somewhere

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u/EverettSeahawk Sep 29 '22

Found the pic.

Red truck is in the yard in the photo. The tree is in the driveway where the truck was normally parked. The truck was 2 wheel drive, that's why it was so hard to move.

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u/penguinpenguins Sep 29 '22

Having just cut down a 70-foot dead Elm tree over the weekend and recorded it, I can attest that trees always look smaller in photos.

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u/strawberitahappyhour Sep 29 '22

Pic is gone 😭

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u/Sliiated Sep 30 '22

i really wanted to see :(

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u/myopinionstinks Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22 Helpful

I'm so satisfied with this picture proving the story. Not that you had a reason to lie to us for fake internet points. Not saying you're a toad. Just wanted to thank you for the fucking closure.

Cheers ;)

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u/PPOKEZ Sep 29 '22

The tree had its eyes closed, could you take it again?

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u/Zenith251 Sep 29 '22

Pic is gone. Rehost?

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u/upvoatsforall Sep 29 '22

“I spent an hour digging out my car and not even 5 minutes later my asshole neighbour parks his fucking tree in my spot!”

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u/fillinthe___ Sep 29 '22

I lived next to a house where a new Cadillac Escalade showed up and parked next to a tree. It had NEVER been there before. And of course, tree fell on it.

Felt VERY “insurance fraudy” to me.

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u/TeniBitz Sep 29 '22

We always parked our cars around the house during hurricanes. During Ivan, my Jeep was parked right in front of my porch and where it normally had been parked was a rooftop from another house. Super lucky I’d moved it. Also, I liked the blockage in front of my front door and bay windows (boarded).

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u/GET_OUT_OF_MY_HEAD Sep 29 '22

I don't love in a hurricane area, so excuse my ignorance, but why don't you guys just — you know — take the cars with you when you evacuate? Does the city force you to take the bus or something?

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u/The_Avocado_Constant Sep 29 '22

Who said anything about evacuating?

Its not all that common to evacuate for a hurricane. The vast majority, you just stay put for and have emergency supplies ready for likely power outages and such.

(but in case of evacuating, no, you probably wouldn't take a bus, you'd take your own vehicles)

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u/Foxyfox- Sep 29 '22

Some people simply can't afford to evacuate. Like, as in, don't have a car they can drive away in. And you know as well as I do Florida doesn't care about its residents.

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u/ratmouthlives Sep 29 '22

You need a car, gas money, food money, and pay for accommodations. Basically an unexpected vacation from hell.

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u/schneems Sep 29 '22

There was an evacuation called in Houston once where multiple people died. Roads are not designed to handle everyone leaving a city at the same time. They get stuck in traffic run out of fuel, get heat stroke and die.

Transporting medical patients is especially difficult. Evacuation should be done if you’re in harms way (otherwise you cause first responders danger when they have to get you). But evacuations aren’t an easy “safety” button that can be pressed at any time.

Not to mention the time and cost privilege. Most people just have no where to go and no money to do it with.

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u/rratnip Sep 29 '22

Rita was a fucking shit show. People were stuck on highways for days trying to evacuate, running out of gas, suffering heatstroke. A bus full of elderly evacuees blew up after suffering mechanical failure and catching fire. I think the hurricane directly killed 3 people in Texas, but the evacuation debacle and aftermath killed 120.

It could have been much worse, the storm turned track east in the last few hours and made landfall at the Texas-Louisiana border, so much of the dirty side of the storm hit the sparsely populated areas of Louisiana.

After Rita, I think they changed evacuation procedures to call for evacuation of coastal counties first and request that most people of Houston and the suburbs stay put until the coastal traffic can pass out of the area and then start rolling evacuations further inland with much of the city being directed to shelter in place.

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u/AltSpRkBunny Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

The Rita evacuation is how my mom and grandma met my MIL. They were trying to get to the Killeen area from Houston, but the AC died and they just about ran out of gas near College Station so we told them to go to my MIL’s house. This was a couple years before we got married. The state troopers damned near didn’t let them off the highway, because they were forcing everyone to go closer to Dallas. Whether they could make it that far or not.

Edit: Forgot to finish the story! So anyways, my mom dragging my grandma (who had passed out due to heatstroke) into my MIL’s house is the first time they met! Then they stayed for 3 days…

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

Not everyone down here in Florida has the chance/privilege evacuate ahead of the Hurricane. A lot of jobs down here wait until a day or two before the hurricane hits to call their employees off. By that point it's pretty hard/late to evacuate because you also got other people trying to get out which causes traffic jams/car jams. So you can imagine how bad it can get trying to leave with multiple cars. So most people either stay put and ride out the hurricane or seek shelter.

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u/MediocreHope Sep 29 '22

Yep, the good ol' hurricane party. Gather your friends, pets and family in the best house that has a chance and drink a bunch. Than you pass out to Jim Cantore in the backround and wake up to see what the damage is in the morning.

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u/certainlyforgetful Sep 29 '22

Only a very small portion are under evacuation orders, and they likely only need to move <10 miles inland.

I had one friend who would constantly evacuate out of state. A couple of times they evacuated directly into the path of the storm.

Most people I know who are in mandatory evacuation zones simply get hotel rooms a few miles inland.

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u/Neuchacho Sep 29 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Most people don't evacuate. Mandatory evacuations really only happen for barrier islands, immediate coastal areas (like <5 miles from the ocean or inter-coastal areas that will experience storm surge), and manufactured homes/trailers with any regularity.

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u/nr1988 Sep 29 '22

He'll be talking about his victory for years

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u/Rule69Devils Sep 29 '22

Today I discovered how unintelligent I am.

I saw the photo and thought he purposely cut the tree down like that to protect car and house at first ha.

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u/Uriah1024 Sep 29 '22

That would make him a gambling man.

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u/JakobieJones Sep 29 '22

Way down in New Orleans

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u/opheliazzz Sep 29 '22

And the only time he was satisfied

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u/Reyneo Sep 29 '22

MYYYY FAAAATHER WAS A GAMBLING MAN

Love the song, love your reference

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u/killtr0city Sep 29 '22

Preemptively cutting it down in controlled fashion would be smart. I think our friend here got lucky.

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u/YourFavouriteHuman Sep 29 '22

"a hurricane is approaching! Cut down EVERY TREE!"

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u/Nicox37 Sep 29 '22

... it's not for that? What is it for then?

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u/poloprc Sep 29 '22

Parked the car sideways next to the garage and the tree fell next to the car instead of on top of it.

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u/Plaetean Sep 29 '22

But why not just park it inside the garage?

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u/niceville Sep 29 '22

Possibly have two cars and the garage is already full.

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u/misha_ostrovsky Sep 29 '22

OP don't throw stones in a glass house.

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u/Thechellbob Sep 29 '22

Me, a Floridian: "but OP, you're a Floridian too..."

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u/chetanaik Sep 29 '22

There's no implication that OP is smart too, they could just be standing in awe of having a smart neighbour

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u/MrMichaelJames Sep 29 '22

We did something similar to this for a snow storm. Moved the cars parallel to the house as close as we can knowing the direction the storm was coming with the wind. The house ended up sheltering the cars from snow and they were completely clear. That storm dropped 33 inches of snow.

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u/sparky22- Sep 29 '22

My neighbor did this. Said it was to help block the wind on his garage. BTW no trees in the yard or surrounding houses.

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u/pokemonhegemon Sep 29 '22

Blocking your garage door from the wind is intelligent. Knowing that tree was going to fall directly across your yard is psychic! What if it had fallen diagonally across both the car and the house?

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u/Thedrunner2 Sep 29 '22

“I trust in parallel, not perpendicular.”

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u/YeuxBleuDuex Sep 29 '22

All Hail Parallel! (Trust not in Perpendicular)

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u/jst3w Sep 29 '22

Parallel is a false god invented by the false prophet/cult leader Euclid.

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u/G-TP0 Sep 29 '22

Florida man here, from just the tip of the state that was lucky enough to have one night of thunderstorms and a few tornadoes, but mostly passed by untouched.

Not to diminish the homeowner's solid hurricane prep, but strategic parking of vehicles is a hurricane lifehack that the news doesn't cover (nor should they, it's a technique that requires experience, and every home is different). Anyone who has lived in Florida long enough, especially during the very active years in the mid to late 2000s has a good idea what to expect from the wind, as hurricanes always spin counterclockwise, and if you've lived in the same place, you know what parts of the home are most vulnerable. Garage doors are a weakness for everyone who has one.

We use our cars to protect the garage door, and on one side of the house to obstruct what would be a nice little wind tunnel from ripping through the side where the AC, pool heater, pump, saline thing, and most importantly, backup generator live. If a wind tunnel started blasting through, then whatever the wind is throwing around could mess us up. No plan is perfect, it's always about decreasing the likelihood of the worst preventable scenario. The above tactic holds up only as long as the fence around the backyard does.

This wasn't done with the foresight of knowing if/how/where the tree would fall. It was done to protect the garage door from direct gusts of wind, and hopefully any missiles would hit the car rather than hitting the door hard enough to break the door's structural integrity. The advantages of using the house and cars to give some mutual protection are many, but that level of precognition is not one of them.

The fact that the garage door held shows that it was the right idea. Hurricanes are so chaotic that dumb luck can save your car, or if the tree fell at a slightly different angle, pancake the car and give you an open concept garage. Because the outcomes of these are impossible to predict, and every decision can potentially be a lifesaver, unnecessary, or create whole new problems...we just kind of ignore the things we can't do anything about, just make a mental note of "in case we make it out of this one, remember to (blank) before the next one."

Hurricane preparation is 365 days a year, kids. Leap years still 365...take a day off, it's been four years you madman.

I apologize if any of the above is really obvious, misspelled, nonsensical, or repetitive. Running on very little sleep (one big reason people do some really stupid shit around a hurricane along with heat).

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u/Adventurous_Pea_3240 Sep 29 '22

My grandfather would do this to keep the wind from blowing his garage door in*

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u/Xelopheris Sep 29 '22

Fun fact, your neighbors car is gone, and that's someone elses car that just landed there.

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u/427CAV Sep 29 '22

Told you barb!!! Yous said i was crazy

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u/Jhco022 Sep 29 '22

Anyone that's been through more than one hurricane season does this. If you have a "nicer" car you put in the garage and block it with the beater to stop any debris and/or the wind from punching through. Same thing if you have tools or a bunch of other shit in there you value more than the car.

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '22

He parked like that to deflect wind from caving in the garage door. Its a known practice in Florida.

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u/HisGibness Sep 29 '22

His insurance should wave his deductible for the next couple years

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u/NoBSforGma Sep 29 '22

I lived in Florida for a while and I once decided to pull some stumps of saw palmettos with my pickup truck. The stump came out, through my back window, missing my head by a couple of inches and out through my front window.

When I told my women friends what happened, they all said... "OMG! Are you OK?"

And my men friends said...."You used a nylon rope, didn't you." :)

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u/Bedrosian015 Sep 29 '22

Fun fact, turning the vehicle sideways is meant to help protect the garage door from being bent by heavy winds. This dude just got lucky as hell.

Sorry if this has been commented I didn’t read them all.

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u/SwenKa Sep 29 '22

Plot twist, they just drove home drunk and that's how they parked.

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u/sicurri Sep 29 '22

As someone originally from Florida, parking like this does 2 things. Prevents what happened, and protects a weak spot in the house. I've seen houses where the garage door got a puncture and the hurricane got a gust of wind in there and ripped off the roof.

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u/Eisensapper Sep 29 '22

Why not put the car in the garage?

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u/manaworkin Sep 29 '22

This was pretty normal practice when I was growing up. The idea is garage doors don't handle hurricane force winds too well. Once the garage buckles the house becomes a parachute and that force pushes against the roof and the walls of the garage. Worst case scenario it lifts the roof off like a lid and the house is gone.

Parking a large vehicle sideways against the garage door can help deflect wind away from the garage door and lessen the odds of a chain failure. You park it sideways so it pushes against the house instead of the door itself.

Rather risk damage to the car than lose the house.

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